jan 25

Hey so, I feel like I’ve been getting a pretty good handle on life these past few weeks. I wanted to share it with you. 

I’m not too sure if it’s a good handle that I’ve got or it’s just something stupid but I feel good. I hate how feeling good is a luxury right now. I think that sucks. 

I’ve been thinking about blogging a lot lately – lol, take a shot every time Alex says that – but haven’t been able to get in it. Sorry, I’m not sure why I don’t make time to do these cool things. I love doing it. Maybe I don’t do things that I like because I never want to stop. I never want to get interrupted or distracted. I want to do it for as long as I need to, and be in my own world. 

But something always grabs your from your world. There’s always something to do. Something to tend to. Something that’s a whole lot more important than this silly task I’ve penciled in for myself. The thing that I’m hiding. No, it’s always so hard to get all the time you need doing something. Maybe that’s where adult anger comes from… 

Ugh, this is getting weird. Not that it’s bad it’s just, you know. I want to be a cool blogger. I want to be trendy and relevant and awesome. I want to feel like I can bring my world to life. My corner, my slice, my side, whatever. Wouldn’t that be the coolest? 

Do you ever dream about things like that? Do you even dream? I dream every day. If there’s a doctors recommend dosage of dreaming then I’m doubling it. I love to imagine my life in lots of scenarios. Behind door number 1, 2, and 3. And, don’t tell my boyfriend, but I dream of my life alone, or of a life or just me and him, or me and someone different. I’m not sure who but, it’s someone strange. Someone who’s not comfortable. My dreams scare me sometimes but that’s what keeps me real. Human. Conscious. When you’re in that moment when it all feels so real and then all of a sudden too real. Deep down you know it’s not real but boy does it feel it. 

That’s all for today, keep you head in the clouds, x

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