January 11th 2021

Monday Jan 11/2021

Today was my first day of school. I feel awesome. Did you ever expect to see those two sentences beside each other?

Let me tell you how I felt today:

  • excited for a new semester
  • prepared to tackle my challenges
  • hopeful for a future in this field
  • nervous for my energy to fade
  • Scared of overextending myself
  • ready for something to learn
  • overwhelmed with my calendar
  • happy for two nice Monday profs
  • on edge for the rest of the week
  • defensive-not sure why

I’m starting to understand why senior classes totally rule. I’m also starting to “like” this online schooling. I have, though, gotten absolutely horrible at making eye contact. That must be due to the limited human interaction I have on a daily basis. Pros & cons I guess.

But I want to go back to something, before I put my pen down.

I’m excited for the semester. Like actually, genuinely excited to learn about things that I want to learn about. So I want to remember this Alex:

I want to remember why I’m putting myself through the longest 12 weeks ever, over and over again. I feel my passions coming back to me. Not completely – you can’t rush a good thing, but I feel the tingle. The surge of good over the daily flow of bad. It feels good. I feel like I know a little more than I did yesterday. And that feels really good. It’s been almost one month of listening to myself, and I want more.

• • •

So let me leave it here:

I’m excited to learn. Learning takes time, dedication, and hard work.

So let’s get into it. To me – 12 weeks from now, when there are flowers growing and snow melting, keep on pushing, because you never know what can be taken from you.

For me, my intuition was taken.

But now, I can hear her. I encourage you to listen to your intuition on blast. It’s got some great things to say. Go kill this semester, believe in yourself.

  • A

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