I love meditation. I really do. But what I think I love so much about it is the act of taking time, finding a space, and speaking to myself.
I sat outside today. With the wind blowing on my face and birds chirping around me. Yeah, that outside. When was the last time that you spend time outside? Purposefully, I mean. Not gardening or walking your dog because you have to, but the last time you actually put your body outside just to exist. I try to make it a point every day to feel my toes in the grass. To actually connect with the earth. Touch the leaves on the trees and look up at the sky. Not to check the weather, but to admire it. To remind myself, daily if I can, that life, matter, things, exist above my head. There are planets, stars, a sun and a moon. There are millions of balloons that we so stupidly let go of. There are airplanes and birds and dragons. Okay, maybe not dragons, but I know they’re somewhere.
I read something the other day that said,
“If magic exists on this planet, it lives in the water”or something like that
I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it. Water… is magic. It is so powerful. Like the older sibling to oxygen. Water holds life. Water creates the human body. Water can fuel our food and just as quickly destroy our whole lives. Water is magic.
I was wanting to write this portion of my thoughts in an entirely new entry, but it feels like the time to share.
I’ve been learning, that, as we get older, into our 20’s more specifically, we begin to think or maybe even realize how screwed up we are. People tend to think negatively of this, but recently I’ve looked through the back window.
We grow up, thinking, knowing, that we have some sort of problem. And if you don’t think or know it, then sometime soon, someone else will make it known to you. We talk about anxiety and depression like it’s as simple as the combination of cheese with noodles. We begin to relate to others and form connections based on these “things that are wrong with us”, like they’re as common as brown or blonde hair. But why are these things bad? Why do we assume that these things come because we are screwed up> Perhaps as you get older, these are things that you realize make you different. You have these things that are not bad things, they are just things that we all have.
This isn’t coming out right.
As you grow into your 20’s, you begin to realize what more there is to life. You begin to realize the fraction of your journey that you’ve begun. You understand how insane this world is. You see miracles and travesties and wonder how it’s possible they occur so close together. So then you look within. And you see all of these emotions and difficulties you have with certain topics and you think that you, for a tiny second on this minuscule day in the shortest breath you’ve ever taken, that you have this entire world within yourself. And you look outside and see the havoc and it scares you to think that it’s inside of you. It scares you to feel your blood as you see the rivers. Your eyes as the sun. You have volcanoes and insects and dragons, don’t forget about those. And most people will stop. Because this frightens them. This is when they turn their world into troubles and begin to prance around telling everyone how messed up they are. How messed up their ecosystem is.
But the enlightened ones will go farther. The enlightened ones will reach this point and connect the dots and think why. They will wonder. And perhaps they will think back. Too soon they will remember that they have, the one very most important thing, the water. The magic. That we all have, but it’s clear. It hides. It will not be harnessed unless you see it and acknowledge it. That is the power that you hold within yourself. The water. That magic. That makes you realize these things are not wrong with you. They simply are. They make you, you.
This still doesn’t feel like the end of the story. But I feel as though I have guided myself against a wall. So for now this is it. Until tomorrow or next year; use your water for the better.